pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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