Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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