Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
