discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Two words: blizzard sex
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
