why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
