you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
