what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
