First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
