I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
