Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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