Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
