he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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