Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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