Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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