Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
