Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
