nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
