Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
