I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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