I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
