I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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