you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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