i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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