my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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