Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My vagina just recognized that song.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
