there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
