We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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