You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
