I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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