Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
