During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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