I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
