There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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