so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
