plz talk dirty to me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
