I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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