Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we're so committed to being not committed
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
