I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
