Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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