I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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