THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
