just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
