I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
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