why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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