We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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