The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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