I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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