this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
