We should be called the Road Head Warriors
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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