so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
