So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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